How to Prioritize Yourself During the Holiday Mental Load

Real ways to protect your energy when everything falls on your shoulders.

The holiday mental load for military spouses is unlike anything else. You’re not just managing the normal festive chaos — you’re navigating unpredictable schedules, long workdays, solo-parenting stretches, extra emotional labor, and all the invisible tasks that come with being the steady one in the home.

It’s no wonder your own wellness falls to the bottom of the list.

But here’s the truth: You function better, feel better, and cope better when you get taken care of too.

Here’s how to prioritize yourself in real, doable ways — even when life feels heavy.

1. Choose ONE daily habit to protect like a boundary

Don’t try to overhaul everything — pick one small thing that helps you feel grounded:

• a high-protein breakfast

• a 10-minute movement break

• quiet time before bed

• hydration habit

• a short walk

• taking vitamins

• a 10-minute clean-up

• journaling or a brain dump
  

Consistency with one habit beats failing at 10.

Lower the bar and remove the pressure

You don’t need:

• perfect workouts

• perfect meals

• perfect routines

• perfect holiday plans
  

You need good enough.

A 10-minute workout counts. A simple meal counts. Rest counts. Showing up imperfectly still counts.

Share the invisible load

You are not meant to carry everything alone.

Ask for help by saying things like:

• “Can you take bedtime tonight?”

• “Can you grab groceries this week?”

• “Can you watch the kids for 20 minutes so I can take a walk?”
  

People want to help — they just don’t always see what you’re carrying.

Create a 5-minute reset ritual

This gives your nervous system a break when the day gets overwhelming.

Options:

• deep stretches

• stepping outside

• slow breathing

• shoulder rolls

• listening to one song

• making a cup of tea
  

Resets reduce emotional eating, irritability, and burnout.

Ditch all-or-nothing thinking

You don’t have to choose between: “Perfect holiday health”or “Total chaos.”

There is a huge space in the middle.

This looks like:

• quick meals

• short workouts

• frozen veggies

• protein snacks

• doing things “some of the time”instead of all the time.
  

Your smallest efforts matter.

You spend so much of your life taking care of everyone else — but your health, your energy, and your needs deserve space too. This season, let yourself matter. Let yourself rest. Let yourself be supported. You don’t have to carry everything alone.